Quotes from the Movie The Cabin in the Woods

Yes, you had "Zombies." But this is "Zombie Redneck Torture Family." Entirely separate thing. It's like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.

Sitterson

An army of nightmares, huh? Let's get this party started.

Dana Polk

I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.

Dana

I wish I could have seen them.

Dana

Um, Marty? Have you ever seen a moose before?

Dana

Statistical fact: Cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they and he will bind them with ancient logics.

Marty Mikalski

Oh my god. I'm on a reality TV show. My parents are gonna think I'm such a burn-out.

Marty Mikalski

Hey, shh, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world. [incredulous] Giant evil gods.

Marty

I know. That would have been a fun weekend.

Marty

I know. Couple more minutes, who knows what would have happened.

Sitterson

Dude, be thankful. Those things are terrifying. And the cleanup on them's a nightmare.

Sitterson

This is all most unpleasant. I know you can hear me. I hope you'll listen. You won't get out of this complex alive. What I want you to try to understand is that you mustn't. Your deaths will avert countless others. You've seen horrible things: an army of nightmare creatures. And they are real. But they are nothing compared to what lies beneath us. There is a greater good, and for that you must be sacrificed. Forgive us... and let us end it quickly.

The Director

Read the Gurovsky; it's way more interesting and Bennet doesn't know it by heart so he'll think you're insightful. And you have no pants.

Curt Vaughan

Least I could do, since Curt and Jules have sold you to me for marriage.

Holden

Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of - [pauses] Am I on speakerphone?

Mordecai